To be or not to be friends with your ex is considered as never-ending debate when it comes to relationships. It tends to never reach the final acceptable conclusion. So, is being friends with your ex is good? Being friends with an ex after a breakup, it is a lie. The truth is, you could never go from being lovers to being friends. Most of the time, there is always that partner after the break up who hurts more than the other. Some people do not realize that for the one partner who help more feelings than the other, maintaining a friendship with their ex is like breaking up over again.
Perhaps, you were friends before you loved each other, so you feel like you can and should be able to do it again. Or, you think that, if you can hang out once in a while, the break-up will not feel so terrible. Or, perhaps your ex is experiencing a hard time, so you feel like you should support him or her. However, no matter what you motivation is, sometimes, being friends with your ex is simple not possible, and trying to force that relationship to form could worsen your break up and create more resentment or bitterness, keeping you from really moving on.
Well, I am not trying to convince you that you could not be friends with your exes again, but there are many reasons why BEING FRIENDS with your ex is NEVER a good thing. Being friends with your ex could be great, but it could also be fraught, so to help you make the lucid decision about whether or not you should be friends with your ex, we gather some reasons of not doing so here, from WikiYeah.com. Some information in this article is referred from Huffingtonpost and Psychologytoday.
Why Being Friend With Your Ex Is Never A Good Thing – 7 Reasons
1. You Have Not Healed From That Breakup Yet
The first reason why being friends with your ex is never a good thing is that it is not a good idea if you have not gotten over the breakup yet. We all know that a breakup affects your confidence and self-esteem. The fact that a person who you loved and invested a lot of feelings and emotions as well as time with does not want to pursue you or your relationship anymore is a tough pill to swallow.
It is even more difficult and confusing if your ex sends mixed signals to you. If you have not had an adequate amount of time to heal from that breakup yet, chances are, you will hang on all words that your ex says. You will base the decisions of your life on them, causing you more angst and pain if one day they decide to move on without you.
Could you imagine how would you feel if they begin to talk to you about their new dating life? It is a sucky situation, right?
2. You Will Face With The Temptation To Talk To Them
If you successfully delete your ex, then you will no longer feel the demand to talk or communicate to them. Because you could not see their activities, you will be “out of sight, out of mind”. You will no longer deal with the drama going in your head when your ex posts a photo with a new interest because he / she is not there to trigger that temptation to ask him about why two of you gave up on love. Even when you talk to him / her, you will have to search him but while doing so, you will think twice about sending a message to him.
3. You Will Keep Thinking About Him
Because they do not pop up on the newsfeeds of your Facebook, you will finally begin forgetting about them. You will never post a status, publish a photo with hope that they will see what you have been experienced and notice that you have fun without them.
Then, you start to concentrate on yourself and enjoy your single life again, rather than always trying to become the winner in the battle of breakup. After a breakup, people tend to remember the good things about their exes and forget the bad ones. This could keep them from emotionally breaking up with them. Why don’t you remember about all the bad things about them which bugged you instead, like how they snored or how controlling they were to you? By remembering their annoying characteristics and habits, it will be much easier for you to let go.
4. Benefits Without Commitments
One the most overlooked reasons why being friends with your ex is never a good thing is those benefits without the commitment. Let me explain this: imagine that you two are doing the whole friend thing, such as eating ice cream together, playing golf together, or something else, all of those things that you used to do when you both were in a romantic relationship together. Despite it feels great to be friends with your ex, yet in reality, you two are still broken up. If you give your relationship the benefits of being in a relationship with you, without really being in a relationship, it is like you are borrowing WiFi of your neighbor for free. Why you have to pay for free WiFi? Why you have to buy a cow when you can get the mild without cost? How could you get your ex back if you keep not allowing them to experience the result or consequence of their choice of breaking up with you?
5. It Is Not Good For Your Ex
You may want to be friends with your ex, yet you should take some time to really consider whether your reaching is good for them. If you accidentally know that your ex is still struggling in order to get over the breakup, it is not fair for you to be a constant presence in their life, stirring up those difficult emotions and digging old wounds. Just be compassionate and let them go.
6. You Two May Not Have A Friend Mode
You may still have sexual and romantic chemistry with your ex, yet sexual and romantic chemistry do not make a real friendship. Perhaps, when you try to be friends with them, you might find that two of you just simply do not stand on the same line. You do not get along or have nothing in common.
7. You May End Up In Bed
Sleeping with an ex is very easy, but really unhealthy in terms of emotional. You might go out with them for a drink “as friends”, and one or even both of you remembers that first physical attraction, or you are just feeling lonely, or you think you need a boost of confidence, and you turn to your ex to find a solution for those needs. The next day, you two are in bed and left with regret or a misguided sense that you might get back together. It may seem like a great idea, particularly if you still have special feelings for your ex, but it is not, trust me! Sexual tension, if mixed with innocent flirting will always lead to physical intimacy with an ex. It is always a recipe for disaster later on.