One of psychology strategies that both genders use in relationships (for instance, how to seduce a man in seconds), particularly romantic ones, is backhanded compliments. To illustrate for backhanded compliments: a man may tell you that he likes the fact that you are not paying too much attention to how you look. On one side, this is reckoned as a compliment as the man might like a certain characteristic about you, apart from appearance. On another side, it is seen as a backhanded compliment because he is implying that your look is not good as your traits. So, is this a true compliment?
The reasons why people give backhanded compliments are various, but commonly, the person who receives the backhanded compliments will feel insecure. Backhanded compliments are problematic, not really compliments (as real compliments will make people feel better). They are veiled insults. If a man gives you backhanded compliments, chances are you will be likely want to prove that he is wrong. Yet, if you do so, you are just investing your energy and time in the one who may not deserve of it. Do not waste your time on this person!
How To Deal With Backhanded Compliments
If a person gives you a backhanded compliment, you will feel confused. Of course, initially, you feel good but later you are left questioning yourself what happened. If you are the victim of backhanded compliments, there are a lot of ways to deal with it. Take a look below on Wikiyeah.com to see which the best ways are!
1. Ask Yourself: Is It Just An Accident?
The first tip on how to deal with backhanded compliments is to determine if it is an accident. Sometimes, the compliments which are thought of being backhanded were uttered from the nervousness or because that person is shy. If a man you are dating recently tells that you are super photogenic, then you can take that statement as your picture looks better than you do in person, then that may be a backhanded compliment. It can mean that: it is his way to say your photo attracted him. Avoid jumping to conclusions when you are not sure. Give this kind of possible backhanded compliments some doubt and see how your date goes.
2. Simply Ignore
Sometimes, the best way on how to deal with backhanded compliments is simply ignore it, particularly if you are not sure if it is just an accident or intentional. Ignore that compliment the first times it occurs if you are not sure of the intentions of this person. However, make a note (mentally) of it. If that compliment is repeated over again, you could then assume that they are not accidental. If you are not serious about the relationship with him, it is not necessary for you to pay too much attention to what and why he said that.
3. If It Was Intentional, Be Polite To Show Your Opinion
If you suspect that the compliment you receive is not just an accident or something that he blurts out from his nerves, then call him out on it. Let that man know that you do not appreciate his saying, and explain for your dislike. For instance, if he says that he likes being with you as you are smarter than most other women, then you can tell him that you are not comfortable with his saying because, whilst you feel happy that he appreciates your smartness, it seems he thinks most women are not smart at all. You can politely pointing out that that is not a nice thing to say, and wait for his reactions, which might not be what you would hope for.
4. Ask Him Directly But Politely
When it comes to learning how to deal with backhanded compliments, if you are not sure if you have just gotten a backhanded compliment or not, you could ask him in a neutral tone about what he meant. If it is not a backhanded compliment, you have cleared it up. Yet, if it is really that type of compliment, he will understand your intention of asking and stop that behavior from happening again. Learn how to deal with judgmental people.
5. Thank Him For The Feedback That You Did Not Ask For
A good way to get a man to stop complimenting you that way is letting him know that you do not want to hear that feedback from him again. If he tells you that you have great personality but can lose several pounds, you could sarcastically “thank” him for being a bold person as if he has the right to make unwanted comments about you. If possible, let that guy know how attractive he is to be so critical like that.
6. Be Graceful
When a man gives you a backhanded compliment with specific purpose, then he might wish to hurt your feelings. They want to see how you react. In such case, if you can be graceful and show that what he said does not impact you, you will leave that situation with the upper hand. However, in order to remain graceful, you should build solid confidence. [MORE: tips to be confident]
Relationships are successfully built on mutual affection and respect. There is no space for backhanded compliments. Thus, do not accept that kind of treatment from a man. It illustrates bad trait to give backhanded compliments, so you do not want to date such type of men.