You met the love of your life, and after a period of happy time with them, you got married. Yet, life is different from your imagination. You realized the bitter fact about in-laws. In the first several weeks, things seemed great: you two were both active in physical intimacy, had breakfast together and in bed, did much of the same things that you two often did together. But, one day, bubble burst. It was when your in-laws were scheduled to come over your house. Despite you have met them before the wedding for a few times, but after getting married, things were different. Things were different changing and you were not sure that you liked these changes.
Now, you just want to know how to deal with difficult in-laws in order to make them treat you with affection and love after so many trials and errors of yourself. It is time to learn how to deal with them, right. This article, made by WikiYeah, is specifically designed to give you some tips and tricks on how to deal with in laws, no matter you are a husband dealing with your wife’s in-laws or a wife dealing with your husband’s in-laws. It is all about how to deal with difficult in laws. Some information in this article is referred from Psychologytoday and YourTango.
How To Deal With Difficult In Laws – 6 Rules To Follow
1. Work With Your Partner First
Yes, this is definitely the first tip on how to deal with difficult in laws you should follow. You are in a marriage. It is very crucial to bear in mind to never leave your partner in a situation where they have to decide between you and their “family”. Understand the relationship between your spouse and their relatives. Always, always keep your opinions between two of you.
2. Set Boundaries
Well, in fact, learning how to deal with difficult people is not easy at all, and learning how to deal with difficult in-laws is much harder. Perhaps, you two are living a healthy life before they came. Now, you have to do all things, causing you miss out on what you enjoy as an individual. Yet, it is not a good idea to do that. You should not let this unexpectedly happen to you. For example, if 6 am is breakfast time, it should be breakfast time, no more, no less. Make sure that you negotiate it with your partner. Unless you set your own boundaries, you will find yourself stress and dancing to the in-laws rhythms.
3. Be Strict, But In A Polite Way
When you set boundaries, you had better enforce them if you do not want your in laws do things “at their convenience”. For instance, you should make sure that you ask them to let you know first before they arrive, be it through a phone call. In case that they do not let you know, and knock your door accidentally, do not open the door. If possible, you can make it seem like you are not at home at that time, and that you could only stay back at home if they call first.
4. Communicate To Your In-Laws
When it comes to tips on how to deal with difficult in laws, it is important to communicate with them by yourself. If your in-laws have done something that hurt your emotions and feelings, then you can tell them your feelings in a polite way. The most important is to not let anyone (the third party) involve in the problem between you and them or do the talking for you. Oftentimes, people ask their spouses to do the commutation, and this should be stopped – you should speak out your voice so you do not look like you always hide behind your partner.
5. Stop Expecting Them To Be Perfect In-Laws
Many people keep expecting their in laws to be ideal ones. You may expect your in-laws help you wash the dishes, deal with the laundry, or bring you the groceries. Yet, remember that the more you expect, the more it hurts. Accept the fact that there are some individuals we need to handle, difficult as they might be.
6. Take It Easy
One of the most important things in regard to learning how to deal with difficult in laws is to keep your own head cool. Even when they deserve to hear what you think in your mind, you should still take it easy. If you want to peace at home, then do not overact. There is no point in attacking or insulting their characters, as it is will make any difference. What you could do is to stay firm in your beliefs and rules, particularly in terms of house rules, and enforce the rules in the gentlest and politest and most harmonizing tone that you could muster.
There you have learnt 6 important relationship rules on how to deal with difficult in laws. What you also need to keep in mind is that they are just your in-laws, you’re your parents. Though it is hard to digest, yet you have to acknowledge that in-laws were not naturally designed to give you sisterly, motherly, fatherly, or brotherly love. So, try to be polite and if you could not say nice things to them, just smile and shut up.