What are the biggest deal-breakers in a romantic relationship? Well, it is communication. Really, it makes sense. When it comes to men’s psychology, sometimes, the reason for their silences is rather obvious: he is engaged in work; he is focusing on a video game; he is crammed hot dog into his mouth that he could not make even a sound. However, there are times when his tight-lipped mood is very mystery, and that is when it could have a negative impact to your relationship. Here, we from WikiYeah give you some effective ways on how to get him to open up to you and express his feelings. Check it out!
How To Get Him To Open Up – 5 Crucial Tips
1. Learn To Speak Like A Man
Naturally, men are usually logical thinkers. You could reach them that way instead of using the language that is based on emotion. Logical thinkers want to know the “Why”, so in order get him to open up to you and express his feelings, you should explain to him the reason why he should get in touch with his feelings. For example, explain that his feelings are like GPS or a compass. If he does not get in touch with his feelings, it is like he misses his feedback or data.
2. Tell Him Your Needs, Not His Wrongs
This is one of the most basic steps on how to get him to open up to you. According to relationship experts, the so-called “sandwich” approach: begin off with a compliment, then gently move into the meaty stuff. For example, “I feel being disconnected when you do not tell me how your feelings are. I would really like to know.” Then, subtly close the sentence with a positive thing – like how more communicating will strengthen your relationship.
3. Reveal Yourself
In relationships, there will be mutual disclosure between parties. Everyone has their own problems, skeletons in the closet and fears. A lot of men think, “If I share this, maybe she will leave me.” What you need to do to sweep his fear is to reveal something about yourself showing you also have problems and you have trust in his as he has in you.
When he begins to open up, you should listen to his feelings, take a step beyond and give something positive as well. After listening to his feelings, you can say something like, “Well, that is not so bad. I even have done much worse.” Let your man know that you understand him and he is not alone with such experience.
Warrant that you feedback him, and you take his side. A large number of women, after listening to the feelings and stories of men, just respond by telling him how he has been looking at it wrong. They tend to take the side of a person. For example, your man has a hard time with his coworker, but it is crucial for you to look from his view point. This is not the time to train or teach him, but the time to “make friends.” When two individuals make friends with one another, they share common experiences mutually, due to that, experience comfort and closeness. That time, you are creating rapport.
It is strange that a lot of men feel seriously alone because they are trained for silence that it is unmanly to express what they go through, they often do not get feedback from the men in their world. Your positive and honest feedback is important and vital to him. If you can do it, your partner will feel as there is a person who understands them and automatically open up more.
4. Make Sure He Understands And Accepts
For a girl, in order to know how to get him to open up to you emotionally, she needs to build an atmosphere of faith and trust. What trust is here is that he will be heard from the point of view of a man, not a woman. What faith is here is that there will be no judgment. According to a relationship expert who has worked with numerous of men over 40 years of his practice, he notices that as soon as men feel understood and accepted, they are usually more open up. More than women, men tend to couch their feelings and emotions in practical manners.
5. Pay attention to your reaction when your partner shares his feelings
In order to know how to get him to open up to you emotionally, you need to pay attention more to your reaction. Inevitably, when men share, many women will jump over them. They get critical, reactive, or cannot accept or take in what their partner shares. If it is not a safe place for your man to share, then he will not share.
Make sure that you make it a safe place for your partner. If he shares something that you may not want to hear, do you get attacking, defensive, cry or angry? The majority of men want to be pleasing to their female partner. So, if his sharing gets this type of reaction from you, then he might shut down to protect your feelings or the relationship or his ego.
This does not mean that you could not react to what your man shares, it is only important to not be reactive when he shares.