Anger is the emotion that all people share, so there is nothing inherently wrong with experiencing it. Nevertheless, people associate anger with getting hot; and so, by fueling their anger, they risk burning ourselves — and other people — with it. This article made by Wikiyeah.com will offer you 9 useful ways on how to manage anger in a relationship effectively. Check out now!
How To Manage Anger In A Relationship Effectively – 9 Useful Ways
- Reflect Internally
Check in on yourself and ask yourself what you think the issue is about. What part you are playing in this – are you misinterpreting what your partner has said? Are you in a bad mood from something else? Are you being reasonable here? Ask yourself if you think it is an issue that is important enough to stand your ground on – can you let this go without resentment or do you need to ask your partner for something? Sometimes we argue out of habit and because it connects their (even though it is negative, at least we both get attention). Ask yourself whether you really need to take up this issue. If so, think about what exactly you need to ask for. [Read: how to seduce a man in seconds]
- Concentrate On The Present Moment
By clinging to the painful memory of a past event (no matter how distressing it was) you are impeded from living in the present. You are entitled to a period of grieving and are allowed to make your needs clear to your partner. Long-held resentment will tarnish a relationship. Try not to use past events as ammunition. Even though it might be a recurring issue, the current disagreement should address the here and now.
- Experiencing It
The next tip on how to manage anger in a relationship is to experience it, in a proper manner, under control. In fact, people either experience or confront it in varying degrees of intensity every day. Though anger is one of nature’s ways of equipping you to defend yourself, anger should not be viewed purely as a reflex action, as anger out of control can turn destructive and lead to aggression. Evolution lies in how well you manage anger.
Anger management is not a predominant subject. Anger as an emotional disturbance is dealt with too trivially because of its sheer pervasiveness, allowing it free rein.
Tranquility fights a losing battle as anger sulks and fumes, sparks and fuels discord all around the world, wrecking relationships and killing composure.
- Expressing It
Experts of mental health have advised people on the soundness of immediately expressing their anger as opposed to suppressing it. The rationale being, sounding out will help relieve pent up emotions. It’s the pressure cooker effect, you have to let out steam or the pressure will build up. But what if you turn off the flame to begin with?
Latest research has gone a few steps further to reveal that expressing anger can be very harmful, making you prone to hypertension, strokes and even heart attacks. In fact, most often anger stems from an attitude or belief, which might be insecurity or condemnation. Strong expression only serves to strengthen the feeling and escalates the situation, paving the way for it to happen again and again.
Intimidation may be just one of the milder outcomes when one resorts to expressing anger. It is harder to escape the anger cycle. The momentary relief gained by expressing oneself is short-term and is followed by remorse, then by resentment, irritation and from there, one is a step away from anger. Physical or verbal abuse follows. Fear and hostility or fury might build up in the person at the receiving end who could be suppressing anger toward you. [See: how to seduce a woman]
- Suppressing It
Reacting to anger by either suppressing anger or repressing anger has its own dangers.
Recurrent suppression of anger would lead to resentment. Resentment is like poison breeding morbidity and early mortality. Suppressing anger can take a severe toll on emotional, mental and physical health, just like repression, which refers to the act of immediately putting the event out of the mind. [See: why do men blow hot and cold]
- Use Broken Record Technique
When it comes to how to manage anger in relationship, it is important to count on listening techniques. Someone in the middle of a rage often jumps from one point to another without taking time to listen to what you’re saying, and someone who’s passive aggressive may continue to make the same jibe over and over again.
The broken record technique can help you to stick to your guns, and to the point. Simply repeat, calmly but assertively, what you want to say. For example, ‘This was a misunderstanding, I didn’t mean what I said the way you heard it’ or ‘I know you’re angry, but I can’t change my work commitments.’
- Keep Calm
Anger fuels anger, so the calmer you can remain, the quicker your partner’s anger subsides. Shouting at a partner in a rage escalates her anger, and joining a passive aggressive partner in sulking can make the situation continue for ever. [See: how to reduce stress]
- Show That You Are Listening
Effective listening is one of important communication tips for couples. People often continue to be angry because they don’t think they’re being listened to or taken seriously. Take advantage of active listening techniques to be sure that your partner feels heard.
Breathing: Deep breathing can be very helpful in calming down or reducing anxiety. You breathe slowly, taking time to pause at the end of each inhale and exhale. With this kind of breathing, your stomach will ‘inflate’ like a balloon when you inhale, and ‘deflate’ when you exhale. Meanwhile, your chest will not expand. If this is difficult for you, try lying on your back with your knees pulled up and your feet flat on the floor. It can also help to place a hand on your stomach to feel its rise on your inhale.
- Agree To Disagree
The last technique on how to manage anger effectively is using the theory “agree to disagree”.You are entitled to ask your partner to help meet your needs, but it is not your job to get your partner to come around to seeing the world as you do. It is fruitless to try to convert them to your philosophy of life. Differences should be embraced – including different sets of interests and activities. Finally, it is not up to your partner to fulfil all of your needs, they also have to be met internally and with other people (family, friends).
You have read thoroughly the article about how to manage anger in a relationship. Apply the tips and tricks delivered and you will see amazing effectiveness. Feel free to drop your words below if you want to comment on any aspect of this article.
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Sources: Lovepanky & Harleytherapy