Are you feeling sensitive, clingy and insecure in your relationship? Such feelings could turn you into a “needy girl”. Being clingy or needy in a relationship could have the negative effect you in the long term. It could leave your lover feeling suffocated, trapped, and smothered.
If you are suspecting you are needy, then take the following tips on how to not be a clingy girlfriend, collected by WikiYeah. Some information in this article is referred from Your Tango and Allwomenstalk.
How To Not Be A Clingy Girlfriend – 9 Must-Take Tips
1. Admit It
Being needy or clingy is not fun for you either. Once you are needy, it does not feel good to your lover. It may not feel good to you either. The emotions fueling clinginess, such as jealousy, insecurity, loneliness and others, are painful. When you are being at your highest level of clingy, you might even feel powerless and driven as if you cannot choose to behave in a different way even if you wanted to.
Before applying any tip on how to not be a clingy girlfriend, you should understand why you are clingy. Clinginess, as mentioned earlier, is often associated with worrying, negative emotions like jealousy, insecurity, and anxiety. By identifying why you are needy or clingy, you could work on that negative part of yourself.
Actually, learning how to not be a clingy girlfriend is not all about giving your boyfriend space, but also about creating space for your own and distancing yourself from triggers of distressing emotions.
2. Have Your Own Life
The next tip on how to not be a clingy friend is to have your own life. Remember what you were like when you had not dated your boyfriend yet? You had hobbies, friends, and a lot of things that were not entirely related to him. So, if you really want to get rid of the image of a clingy girlfriend, keep up with such things. Doing so will make you more interesting to your boyfriend.
3. Stop Thinking “What If?”
Those clingy girlfriends often have a thinking pattern of “what if…?”, such as “What if he sees a beautiful girl whilst he is hanging out with his friends?”, or “What if he is not calling as he is on the phone with the ex?” These thoughts will lead you to nowhere. Whenever your anxious thoughts begin to spin out of your control, remember that “what if” is less important than “what is”. Then, acknowledge the state of your relationship.
4. Tell Him Out
If the reasons of your clingy actions are because he is taking you for granted or treating you like you are nothing in his life, then it is the right time for you to have a frank conversation. It might be the case that he does not realize how he makes you feel. It also might be that he is not interested in you anymore. Just tell in and if he denies to work up to improve the problems, just get out.
On the other side, some people said that a girl starts feeling and acting needy when her guy starts making her feel insecure in the relationship. Whether or not it is your case, it always needs a debate.
5. Understand Your Value
Remember that you are great, be it your intelligence, your beautifulness or gracefulness or anything great thing of you. If you were not, then he would not have begun dating you right at the beginning. Hence, remind yourself of how great you are. Boost your confidence. No matter whether you are in a relationship or not, it surely makes you feel more centered and secure.
6. Listen To Your Body Language
Another tip on how to not be a clingy girlfriend is to listen to your own body language. By how that you know you are clingy? Just ask your body and pay attention to what it tells you – when it is in the middle of calling, texting, checking out her Facebook page. Is your breathing shallow and fast? There are many indicators that you might be in the needy and clingy zone. Pay close attention to your own body when you do not get the reply that you are seeking, like when he does not pick up the phone when you call, or he does not text you back instantly. If so, then you should take time to breathe deeply and relax yourself.
Your body is not the single thing that sends signals, but your partner’s body language as well. If your partner is creating space between you two, giving less eye contact or less physical touch, then you know what problem you are facing.
When you convince yourself that you are not getting enough attention from your partner and you starve for more, it is natural to get clingy. Hence, stop starving. Do it by feeding your demand – for companionship, conversation, affirmation, or whatever. Simply take part in a certain group of your favorite, enroll a class, or pursue a talent that is yours alone. Those people who have a diversifying life and get emotional needs via a variety of people, activities and communities tend to be less likely to feel too clingy or needy.
8. Avoid Being Too Available
Are there any signs you are too available for him? Well, to know how to not be a clingy girlfriend, you need to avoid being too available. That just makes him take you for granted. You should not always be there around him. Make yourself busy. It will make him miss you more and prove to him that you are not as needy or clingy as he used to think.
9. Plan A Night Out With Your Only Friends
Spend time for yourself, and your friends (not including him). This is something that everyone needs to implement in a relationship to make things not too bring, particularly when they are thought or labeled needy or clingy. Go out and enjoy the life. Do something without yours partner and enjoy the feelings it brings.
There, the nine relationship tricks on how to not be a clingy girlfriend hopefully have helped you solve your clingy side. Remember that you are a whole person and you have your own value, so don’t let other people take you for granted, including your boyfriend.