No matter it is a major or a mild case, jealousy still has a big influence on your relationship. Jealousy happens when you feel the heightened threat from a rival. The majority of us get jealous when seeing our partner having good time with another person, usually of the opposite gender, particularly if that individual seems too friendly. Regardless of your partner’s effort to reassure you, the interest of another person in your partner still raises your red flags.
Now, the question is: Is jealous healthy for a relationship? Most of us know that anything over is not good. Just adequate level will bring good impacts. The following parts of this article on WikiYeah.com will show you the answer for that question.
Types Of Jealousy In A Relationship
Actually, when it comes to jealous in relationships, there are two main types: health and unhealthy.
Healthy jealousy could manifest itself in feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem. It is a means to guard the infected person’s territory and comes from a commitment or a sincere care to a relationship. It is normal for us to experience healthy jealousy to get angry at our partner, despite they ought to be able to keep their anger under control. Sometimes, people sense the “stiff upper lip” upon experiencing jealousy but still insist that nothing wrong. At the same time, they feel confused internally. Unhealthy jealousy manifests itself via threats, lies, self-pity, inferiority, insecurity and feelings of inadequacy.
However, according to Psychologists Robert Bringle and Robert Rydell, jealousy was divided into two types, which are reactive and suspicious jealousy. Some people also name these types as: “normal” and “delusional” jealousy. It is crucial to differentiate these types.
The first type – reactive jealousy – will happen if you have good reasons to feel jealous. But, suspicious jealousy – the second type – can happen when there is actually no realistic reason or indication of any betrayal in the relationship.
Reactive jealousy is especially useful as it tells you more about your relationship, whereas suspicious type does not. Nonetheless, suspicious jealousy sometimes reveals our values.
Is Jealousy Healthy? Benefits Of Healthy Jealousy
Most people describe jealousy as a “crazy”, painful feeling. But healthy jealousy produces tremendous distress and pain, and remains the inner experience which does not turn into violent actions.
This good type of jealousy can encourage people to improve themselves in some ways and work harder. If you feel jealous of the new car of your neighbor, for instance, you might work harder to boost your financial situation. In case your jealousy is towards your partner, then you might be more attentive to ensure that your partner will not be attracted by someone else.
Jealousy promotes the survival for fidelity in adults, at least at the most basic level. By recognizing signs of romantic jealousy, and what feelings are normal and not normal, and examining the underlying causes of jealousy, we could learn to cope with it by taking actions to change our behaviors. Like any other hard emotional experiences, jealousy could trigger a growth, greater understanding of your relationship and your partner and increased self-awareness.
Healthy jealousy protects the heart of a relationship because it shows your relationship commitments, protects your relationship by safeguarding it against evil attacks, makes you be open with one another and makes you accountable via honest communication. Furthermore, healthy jealousy helps you confront main threats to your relationship and defeat them before they turn into main problems.
Effects Of Unhealthy Jealousy
Because it is unhealthy jealousy, there will be some effects. You will doubt the honesty of your partner and wrongfully accuse him or her, thereby pushing your partner away. Also, you will feel unimportant and worthless, get frustrated and overwhelmed, and have less sexual intimacy with your partner.
When jealousy is unhealthy, it is frustrating and destructive to be able to contend with. In fact, love is not possessive and jealous. True love can make you become the best for your partner.
Prevention Of Jealousy
Whilst it is not possible to prevent jealousy all the time, it is still possible to take control of how you handle them. When noticing any sign of jealousy, instead of ignore them, you should evaluate your own emotions and feelings and make a serious decision about your behaviors. If you try to ignore such feelings, it will just result in losing control later.
Sometimes, jealousy is not only unhealthy, but also dangerous. If you try to make someone feel bad with the purpose of making yourself feel better, then your effort of controlling your partner or threatening him/her is not okay at all. You should not confuse these actions with true love. Actually, they are subtle signs of an unhealthy relationship, in accordance with Arizona State University.
How To Deal With Jealousy
There are two cases when it comes to stop jealousy, which will described below:
If you are the jealousy partner, then you should:
- Listen to some trusted friends. Maybe, your jealousy is your own problem, not your partner’s.
- Think about your partner much more positively. Jealous people will use their suspicions and anxious thoughts to misread things their partners do.
- Be honest and frank with yourself. Find out the real causes of these feelings. Whether or not it is just manipulation?
- Express your emotions and feelings to your partner appropriately. Be honest without being manipulative and blaming.
If you have a jealousy partner, you should:
- Evaluate whether you are doing something provoking your partner’s jealousy.
- Show your love towards your partner.
- Show your relationship commitment by stopping the activity that triggers your partner’s jealousy
- Communicate openly with your partner about the issue and work hard to find a solution together