Living together? Have you ever thought above that idea? If yes, then there may be many questions rising in your mind in regard to what to prepare and things to discuss before moving in together, right? This checklist from Wikiyeah.com will list down the most important things to discuss before living together. Check them out!
11 Important Things To Discuss Before Living Together
1. Where To Live
Among things to discuss before living together, deciding where to live is very basic. His/her moving into your place will be very different from renting an apartment together. Moving to his/her place? There will be no double standard in this case. You should be respectful of your partner’s existing items.
2. The Goal Of Moving In Together
You need to discuss the ultimate goal of moving in together. The goals could be: enjoying the company of each other or saving on the cost of house rental, waiting to see if you two are compatible, planning to a future marriage, or making a permanent commitment after a certain amount of time (one or two years), etc.
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3. The Way Of Splitting Rent And Utilities
This is one of the top priority when you plan to share your house with your significant other. It is time to figure out who will pay the bill and rent when they are due. Whether you combine your finances or keep things separate, the two of you should make a solid plan about things such as bills, rent, groceries, and so on. Actually, it is not always the case that things need to be divided equally like 50/50. The thing that matters is that each one should make a fair contribution for financial situations, and that you two are on the same page.
Also, do not forget talking about whose name the rent or bills will get under. If you both really trust each other, a smart solution is opening a joint bank account which is just for rent – and each of you will put in your share into and take the rent cost from there instead of each other’s personal banking accounts.
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4. Emergency Fund
When moving in together, not many couples think about emergency fund. However, this should be the one to consider, particularly in these days. Nobody likes to think about the bad things that may happen in the future, but the reality is sometimes harsh than our thoughts, be it unforeseen medical emergency, a last minute ticker for something, an accident, etc. no matter what the case is, you two should discuss in details whether you both should have a certain amount of money set aside for such situations and if those emergency funds should be kept separated or combined.
Debts are one of things that can ruin a perfect relationship if two partners do not tackle them properly. Once again, no one wants to mention about the debts, but when moving in together with someone, it is very crucial to know about the financial history of each partner. If there is a debt, then you still need to consider: is it a good or bad debt? Could your partner pay that debt? Could your partner talk about it without defensive? As long as your communication is honest and open, there is always a way to deal with debts together.
6. Types Of Income
Discussing about income could be a little bit subtle in relationships. However, once you are living together, it is necessary that you two know what to expect from each other in regard to financial contributions. If either of you are hesitated to talk about the exact number of your income, you can still say “I earn about X one month”. Financial issues are okay to compromise as long as you two are open about it. Make sure that you or your partner does not put unessential financial pressure on the other person.
7. Spender / Saver
When it comes to living together, defining you and your partner as savers or spenders or somewhere in the middle of that spectrum is very important. If you two are on opposite ends of the spectrum, it does not mean that you are not compatible in the long term or unable to live together – you have to be much more open to negotiation and compromise. Yet, do not try to take control or change the habits of one person. Be aware that your own personalities can clash and cause some financial arguments if you both do not compromise.
This is another one among many things to discuss before living together. It could be weird to think about retirement saving when you are young, particularly in your 20s or 30s; nonetheless, it is never too early to begin planning for such important thing. This does not have to be an instant discussion, yet particularly if you both are thinking about combining finances. You should feel comfortable when talking about this. In fact, planning for retirement will show forethought, good judgment, responsibility – all good qualities in a potential long term partner.
Living together does not mean all will joint into one and there is no personal space for each of you. You should have an honest conversation about how much personal time and space each of you need as it is very necessary for sanity perseveration. Bear in mind that in order to grow in a relationship together, each partner needs to grow separately.
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When living together, you two all have a right to invite your guests; hence, be courteous to one another. Moving in together is a good chance for you to know each other’s friend groups, yet as with anything, it will take serious negotiations in order to make the environment comfortable and harmonious for people involved.
11. Physical Intimacy
There is a correlation between lower marital commitment and satisfaction and premarital cohabitation, according to a study published in the Journal of Marriage & Family.
Remember that, when living together, not every night will end with the two people having no clothes, sweaty and sticky. When living apart, you tend to make time for physical intimacy, but when you are living together, the frequency of sexual activity might taper off. That time, you will realize that you could be intimate without having any intercourse.