All of us lie at least one times in our lives, and some are more habitual at this than others. In fact, some people lie as they are scared of the outcome, some lie as they just simply like saying, and some lie to stay in the clear. How well you can spot a liar? Why people lie, there are a lot of signs that either are easily seen by others or hard to catch. While using these signs to spot a liar may take extensive training and practice, it is not necessary for you to be a psychological expert to do so. Nowadays, the average person like you could become good at identifying dishonesty, and it is not difficult as you may think. Here’re 14 out of best ways to spot a liar and an important extra tip recommended by experts from WebMD. Take a look from WikiYeah.com!
How To Spot A Liar – 14 Tried And True Ways
1. They Instantly Change The Topic
When a person wants to hide something from other people, they will try changing the topics frequently. For example, when you try to talk about something which tells them that they will be caught if they keep talking about it, they will smoothly ignore that topic and keep moving on, showing their lack of interest in it. This is one of the easiest ways to spot a liar. This occurs as they do not feel comfortable when talking about that topic, they think that they will accidentally be exposed, so they keep changing the topics.
2. They Are Inconsistent, Even Contradict
Whenever you want to know someone is lying or not, just look for the inconsistencies in their statements. There will be something that just does not fit. So, are there inconsistencies which just do not fit when you are talking to someone who you suspect not being truthful?
A lying person sometimes also shows contradiction in their statements. These contradictions could be between the words and the gesture, the voice and the gesture, or the words and the face. [MORE: common reasons why do men cheat and lie]
3. They Hide Their Phone
This happens more and more popular with most people these days. You may say that all relationships need a certain level of privacy and personal space, of course, it does. I am not saying that you have to reveal your passwords to your partner, and it often happens due to severe insecurities.
Here is an example relating to ways to spot a liar I want to show you: one of my female friends was going with her boyfriend whom she suspected of flirting with other women via text messages. She noticed that whenever she asked him to give her his own cell phone (in order to take photos) he would bluntly refuse, thereby increasing her suspicion. Then one day, she snatched it right from him, and right at the time she had that phone in hand, a text message comes in, from a strange woman, sending him raunchy pictures. Needless to say, that relationship was ended there. So, that is what I want to show you about the relation between phone and a liar. That sounds too fierce, trust me, it does help you spot a liar. When you are transparent with your partner, you will not care about any of those menial things. If you have nothing to hide, then you will not hesitate to hand your partner your phone, right?
4. They Begin Stammering When Confronted
When lying, some people start stammering a little bit because there are many thoughts in their head. They mix those words up, resulting in “umms” or “errrs”. They also have a hard time saying something to save themselves from being caught. So, if you doubt them of lying to you something, then watch their saying patterns. Do they normally answer your question, or do they spend time a lot before saying word and finally start stammering? This sign is very easy to catch. [MORE: how to tell if your boyfriend is lying to you]
5. Ask The Unexpected
It is estimated that approximately 4% of people are complete liars and they could do it well. However, everyone will at least have a time of not paying close attention to everything. So, watch them carefully. Then, when they do not expect it, ask them one question which they are not prepared to response to trip them up.
6. They Change In Behaviors
In regard to ways to spot a liar, it is said that one the most crucial indicators of dishonesty is behavior changes, according to a professor of the University of San Francisco. If someone who is generally anxious, but not looks so calm, then pay attention to him. In contrast, if someone who is generally calm but now looks a little bit anxious, then something went wrong with him.
The trick here is to gauge the change of their behaviors against the baseline. If the behaviors of a person fall away from how they normally act then it can mean that something is up.
Another form of changes in behavior is that liars could be short-tempered or uneasy when being around you, often very down or quiet. It is because deep inside themselves, the lie is continuously reminding them of its own existence. They might distance themselves from you in order to feel better a little bit, yet if they honestly and truly love you, they will finally tell you, otherwise you will finally find out the truth as no lie will stay hidden for good.
7. The Stories Keep Changing
When people tell the truth, they exactly know what they are talking about. For example, they do not mix the name, time or places. However, when someone does not tell the truth, the stories they tell might vary whenever you hear it. As when someone tells a story naturally, they will not need to rehearse things and they simply talk. But when they try to make up something to hide a lie, then the story will be well-rehearsed and will not seem natural at all. Hence, pay close attention to their expressions as they change frequently when lying. [MORE: the art of story telling]
8. They Become Very Defensive
A lying person is very scared of being caught so their defense mechanism will be kicked in upon having to confront about it. If you confront someone with something that bothering you, and they accidentally become very defensive, then it means that they are hiding something from you. Truthful people will never need to be defensive whilst explaining themselves to you as they really care about you, whereas people who are lying will be very selfish when it comes to feelings. That case, you should not expect any care upon confronting with them and prepare for a lot of defense.
9. They Show Insincere Emotions
The majority of us could not fake smile all the time. The timing of smiling in liars will be wrong. It will either be held too long or be blended with many other things. Perhaps, it will be a mixture of an angry face with a smile; you could denote it as their lips are often small and less full in compared with a sincere smile. In fact, a true smile will incorporate with both lips and eyes of a person. Those fake feelings are good indicators when it comes to ways to spot a liar. [MORE: 5 tips to overcome trust issues]
10. Pay Attention To Micro-expressions
“See micro-expressions,” said Paul Ekman, a famous expert in lie detection. Micro-expressions are brief expressions, often about a 25th of one second, those are always concealed emotions. When someone acts happy, but in fact, is really upset about a certain thing, for example, his true feeling will be uncovered in a subconscious flash of anger on his own face. Whether the hidden emotion is anger, fear, unhappiness, or jealousy, that emotion will sooner or later appear on the face in just a blink of the eye. So, the trick here is catching it. Nevertheless, 99% of people tested in a study carried out by experts in lie detection could not see these micro-expressions. In reality, in no more than 1 hour, you and many other average people could learn to see those micro-expressions well.
11. Look For A Sense Of Unease
When someone is not making an eye contact and it is against how they normally act, then it could mean that they are not truthful. Liars often look away, sweat and look easy or anything that indicates anxiety.
12. There Is Too Much Detail
If when you say to someone “where are you?” and they response, “I went to the super market and I needed to get milk, eggs, and sugar and I caught my friends and I had to go slow,” and more, then they are saying too much detail to you.
Too much detailed information can mean that they have put lots of thought into how they will deal with your behaviors and get out of the situation. They have just crafted a complex lie as a temporary solution. [MORE: 10 white lies you should lie about on a first date]
13. The Way They Speak
Even though a change in voice could be a way to catch a liar, experts say that to be sure, you had better pay close attention to the speech rate and breathing pattern of a person. If either slows down or speeds up, chance are, they are telling a lie.
14. Do Not Ignore The Truth
It is more crucial to recognize when a person is telling the truth than lying because people could look like telling a lie but in fact they are telling the truth. Whilst it sounds confusing, finding the truth hidden behind a lie could sometimes help you find the real answer to a crucial question: Why is a person lying?
An Extra Tip For You When Learning Ways To Spot A Liar
Generally, we have a choice about the stance we take in our lives. If we keep taking a suspicious stance, then life will not be pleasant at all. But, if we keep taking a trust stance, then life will be more pleasant but we may be taken in now and then. As a friend or partner, you are much better off being trusting instead of trying to look for lies all the time.
These 14 tried-and-true ways to spot a liar, experts agree, help detect a lie. But, what they could not do is to tell you the reason behind a lie of a person and the meaning behind it. Remember that micro-expressions do not tell you the real reason, but just tell you what the concealed feeling or emotion is. When you suspect that someone is lying, you have to know the individual well enough in order to understand why they lie. You could see micro-expressions, yet you also need to have more social-emotional intelligence on people to take advantage of it precisely. You have to be good at judging people to really understand what it means.