When you plan a date with a woman and she flakes out on you, it is annoying as time is relatively valuable to you or anyone else. Imagine that you have postponed or delayed all of your plans on Saturday night in order to have drinks with a woman, but she cancels the last minutes. Not only did it make you so annoyed, but it also leaves you with a wasted evening without plans because almost everyone has already had their night plans by the time you get that annoying information (sometimes she gives a legitimate excuse like a car trouble or family issue).
Actually, when it comes to a flake, you need to realize that this situation is your FAULT, yet not because of you (meaning that it is your direct fault). Yes, it is your fault because you have not picked up on the signs she will flake out on you and avoid them before they occurred. Actually, women do not intentionally flake on you or blow you off to make you feel bad. They are creatures of emotion, so their decision is almost specifically instant. They simply respond to their feelings at an exact moment. So, perhaps they were interested in you before but suddenly lose that “feeling”, making them decide not to meet up with you. It is annoying and selfish, yet it is not personal.
Why She Flakes On You – 5 Reasons
Come back to the main topic: why she flakes on you. Generally put, in a relationship, flaking out is sometimes often associated with some common reasons:
- She is not into you. Despite she might have a happy time with you; she still does not want to see you again. Fact is, everyone loves to take or communicate with a funny, interesting guy, particularly a good-looking one, yet there is no sparking feeling that pushes her to want to see you again. Or, perhaps she just wants to play along with you as she wants to get out of boredom. This reason explains why many women give their phone numbers to men so easily these days, particularly in this age of voice mail and omnipresent cellphones.
- There is a new man coming along. As a result, she bumps you for it.
- You have said or done something making her second guess your personality or intentions.
- She is never really sure about going out with your in the first place. Some women, who try to be nice, may make plans that they acknowledge that they are about to cancel. Despite it is not a logical approach to reject a guy, yet it still happens.
- You are not attractive enough for her. This is mainly related to attraction, which is essentially an emotion. In reality, emotions vary enormously in intensity. The rush and excitement of interacting with you (in person) is heady, yet it could still go away rapidly if you do not know how to maintain it. It is similar to a car running out of gastroline. This cause is related to the loss of “emotional momentum”. The more momentum disappears, the faster she will stop thinking of you as an awesome man whom she was interested in.
Whatever the reason why she flakes on you is, something has probably turned her off to you and she decided to cancel the date moments before the night.
How To Prevent It?
After all, although women are unpredictable and things will happen in the way that you hardly guess, you can still reduce the risk to encounter this trouble by taking some tips to avoid her flaking out on you below, which even make her change her mind if she thinks about ditching:
- Learn how to build her interest in you. Do it by creating the attraction between her and you (also known as getting her to qualify herself to you). Remember that the more attraction you could build, the more likely she will meet you in reality. You can keep the mentioned-above momentum going by using the phone properly. It means that you should know how to use phone calls and texts to your own advantage. Start the contact as soon as you can right after having her phone number. Many guys do not want to appear “so eager” or are confused of creeping her out in this stage, so they wait for a few days (often 3 days as a rule) in order to be more confident. However, in fact, they are just mustering up the courage. But, instead of calling a phone call instantly, within 24 hours of having her number, you can use a quick text – which is cute, short and helps build contact and gauges how interested she is in you.
- Make her want to meet you and she will absolutely will. If there is any reason that she does not want to meet you, it will make her do it. [Learn: 14 Tips on How to Make Her Want You Sexually More]
- Build more comfort. This tip assume that the woman is attracted to you, yet still flakes as she is not comfortable about spending time with you one-on-one. You can handle it by spending more time to build the comfort with her. [Read: 12 Signs You Are Spending Too Much Time Together]
- Time bridging. This is an old-school mystery tip. When making your date with her, you two discuss about what you will do on the date. It makes her much more comfortable with meeting up with you due to the future projection.
These tips can generally help some men, but in case that you are not into the tips above, you can still apply this tip: avoid flakey girls. It means that you should notice early signs of flakey girls and avoid it altogether.
Signs Of Flakey Girls
- Notice her reaction at the first approach: she is somehow hesitant to give you her phone numbers.
- Notice her response time: Assume that you had her phone number and came back home with your head held high, you decide to text a message to her to say it was great to meet her and suggest the next meeting. Then, you need to check her response time because women often check their phones compulsively. If you sent her a message, chances are she got and read it already. If she responds immediately, you have a green light. If she responds a little bit slowly, such as one hour later, she may still be interested in you, but needs some prodding prior to really being enthusiastic about your date. But, if she responds your text after more than one day, or does not reply at all, then she will nearly flake on you.
- Assume that you have proposed a date with her successfully. If you suggest the time to meet her, she says that she cannot because of something else and suggests another time, then you may get a yellow light. Perhaps, she has another date at the initial time that you suggested. If she suggest just one day after that day, then you might be on the losing end. [Read on: signs she will flake out on you]
Once she cancels or disappears, there’s not a lot you can do, but you can make yourself aware of the signs, and maybe even change her mind if she was thinking about ditching.